Contentment…Even With An Empty View….

Life. What is the purpose? What is the purpose of all of these things I go through for “preparation” of my future? School, work, school, school, school….school?! Yes, yes, I am once again avoiding the massive amount of homework awaiting me, plus the three tests I need to study for. Oh well, I can’t concentrate when I have something inside waiting to burst (yes, not a word, but once again…oh well.) I’m in one of those moods of wondering why I chose my current major, if I should have stuck with the one I chose in high school? Where will this degree take me? This is the question I have been pondering really since September of last year. I suppose the real question should be, where IS God taking me? I say “is” because the journey that I am on is a current one, not one that is in the future. God is taking me on a journey full of twists and turns it seems like. Did you know a rhino can only see 30 feet in front of itself? And a “herd” of rhinos are called a “crash”. There’s the fact of the day for you. :) Seriously, what are rhinos known for? Charging full speed ahead, right? If they are so comfortable doing that while they can only see 30 feet ahead of each other….shouldn’t I be so much more willing to charge ahead in life knowing that God sees the whole picture and he’s holding onto me the whole way? I suppose the answer should be “yes,” but I’m reluctant to say that in my heart that’s not the answer. I am so focused on my plan…a plan to get out of school, move, get a job, start a family, the list goes on and on. I truly am struggling with coming to terms with the fact that I CAN’T plan my future. Only He can, and He HAS…I just don’t know the whole plan yet. I am a planner. I’m not necessarily organized (in the way most people would think of the term as being), but I am a planner. I am also a dreamer. How those both fit hand-in-hand, I’m not entirely sure yet, but HE knows. Well, friends, this rambling post probably should come to an end {for the sake of those three tests}, and I don’t know if this made any sense to you or maybe I’m the only one in this season right now? *Shrugs* I don’t know, friends, but the beauty of that is that He knows. He holds the universe, He holds my life (which includes the past, present, and future), and He holds my heart. That’s really all I need to know. I don’t always like just knowing that part, but I pray that the Lord would teach me to have a spirit of contentment within my heart. Not just for this particular season, but for my entire life. Well, those books and highlighters are calling me…until next time, folks! Have a great rest of the night and week. :)


About Christianna

Just an ordinary person trying to live each day like it's her last...with love, hope, and faith. :)
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